So thanks to my Cineworld Unlimited Black Card Membership, I had the pleasure of pre-booking an advanced preview of Vin Diesel‘s latest movie, The Last Witch Hunter.

Lets just get this out of the way. Most critics slate the film. Metacritic gives it a 34/100 from 19 critics meaning “generally unfavorable reviews”.

 

I enjoyed the film if I was honest. Maybe its because I didn’t have to concentrate very much to understand the film. Could be because it was the first time I’ve ever been to the cinema on my own (I find shared experiences are more fun). Could even be because it has Vin Diesel who I think is a cool dude.

The plot is fairly simple. Its really back in the day, like medieval back in the day, and Kaulder (Diesel) is hunting down some Witch Queen who obviously peed him and his friends off enough to warrant sneaking in to her manky cave with torches and swords ready to make her 50 shades of dead. Several of friends die of course, since they are after a Witch Queen, which as the name suggest must be super powerful. Kaulder triumphs, but is then infected with immortality by the dying Witch Queen.

Cue title screen and then we are hurled hundreds of years in to the future where Kaulder no longer looks like some barbarian with a wig, and looks more like he’s ready to go out and pick up chicks. After some witchcrafery (I don’t think that’s a word, but it is now), he indeed does pick up a chick. 

I kinda don’t blame him though, she was fit.

Anyway, next comes Father Dolan, played Michael Cain who then monologues about how he writes the personal diary, sorry, “Chronicles of Kaulder” but is due to retire soon.

Without any spoilers, numerous good and bad people die, there’s loads of CGI, Kaulder becomes mortal again yet eventually he saves the day.

The end!

Its a by the numbers film with a few twists and turns that aren’t that predictable to be honest. The CGI was satisfactory, the action just OK. But the visual effects for the Witch Queen was rather week. I’ve seen more scary looking women at local hairdressers.

So lets give it a 3/5. Hopefully the planned sequel will do a better job.

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